Can we re-title it, “Get AMERICA Out of Here”? June 16, 2009

I admit I watched a little bit of the “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” marathon on MTV (Vh1? Bravo?), which convinced me to watch an episode or two online- I am not proud of this, but I admit it. This is by far the most ridiculous show I have ever seen. I literally cannot believe people signed up to make themselves look this stupid. By themselves, I do mean Heidi and Spencer. Now, I quit watching “the Hills” this year (I will proudly take my Girl Scount badge for that one, thanks), but these brats are everywhere. This might be one of my favorite interviews of all time and from a highly unlikely source- Mr. Al Roker. For your viewing pleasure, he is Mr. Roker playing Dad/high school principal to Heidi and Spencer. Some article that tipped me off to this (AOL, I think) credited Heidi with crying after and saying she felt attacked and warning Mr. Roker’s future guests against taking the seat across from him. Because clearly, Al Roker is a scary, scary man.

Please note the production crew start laughing, Roker’s appalled sigh (you know this is the moment he totally said F this interview), the amazing explanation between being a “villain on that show, hero in life”, and the amazing quote: “Am I proud of… what?”

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/nbc-today-show-nbc-today-show-heidi-pratt-im-not-ashamed/3248373528

welcome back, welcome back, welcome back June 16, 2009

I haven’t written in here in almost 2 months. I got slightly busy with the wedding- you know, what with the great plate debacle (I’m going to have to check if I wrote about that, but I feel like I did) and my just below the surface panic attack that lasted for pretty much all of May, I didn’t have copious amounts of free time. But the wedding is over, the honeymoon was amazing (and filled with dolphins and Coronitas), and life is slowly getting back to normal.

And normal for me, of course, is trying not to freak out about work and what I’m doing with the professional side of my life. I feel like the majority of the world seems to have my reversed problem- their personal lives are the hard part. I think I prefer my problem because at least the thing thats most important to me is settled (according to the newest ring on my left hand and the hole in our mutual bank account), but it’s still stressful. I took the Strong Interest Inventory test, and it told me that my top 10 matched careers are (in descending order of best match): broadcast journalist, graphic designer, speech pathologist, parks & recreation manager, advertising accuont manager, community service director, photographer, special education teacher, cosmetologist, and elementary school teacher. What’s funniest about this is when I was 12 or so, all I wanted to be was Katie Couric. I should really have paid a little bit more attention to 12 year old me, she knew what was up. I also used to cut pictures out of magazines like a fiend; hello, graphic design.  Somewhere along the way, I really need to start figuring this out. By somewhere, I mean ASAP, because our lease is up in January and I want to find somewhere close to our jobs, and if I’m leaving UH….

Nothing like pressure, right? Where is my bottle of Riesling?

Things I Like April 22, 2009

I’m in a good mood tonight, and that makes me generally optimistic, so I’m going to go with that frame of thought make a list (which is something I love to do in general) of things I like, for your viewing pleasure.

1. Facebook. I know this is cliche and ridiculous, but it’s great on a multitude of levels. Point 1: Everyone loves a distraction, and there is no greater online distraction from whatever paper you should be writing, article you should be reading, or perhaps for some of you, what spreadsheet you should be working on (lucky non-time-crunched bastards) than Facebook. It’s beyond entertaining to find your BFF from 6th grade (possibly your BFF Jill?) and to see that she now has 4 kids and lives in Wyoming. Love it. Point 2: Keeping in touch has never been easier. Do you know how long it took me to collect addresses for the wedding? For the majority of people, I had it within 24 hours. Magical. Point 3: I love the pictures. I love that I can look into people’s lives with their permission, even though in some cases I don’t even know them. Yeah, that’s weird. But it brings me back to Point 1- it’s a great distraction and can entertain for hours.

2. Puppies. I want to own every puppy in the world on a ranch, because I love puppies that much. Also, I’d like to point out that I call every dog regardless of its age a puppy. I like to think that I’m choosing to help them retain their youth and fight ageism by doing so.

3. Showers. I really, really love showers. The steam is good, the hot water is good, the clean feeling after you’re done is good. I think heaven might be one of those showers with like 18 shower heads in it. Bliss.

4. Wednesday mornings. This is the only day of the week that I have advising in the afternoon and a clear schedule in the morning, and I think it’s easily my most productive and pleasant day of the week. Monday sucks, Tuesday is all day advising and I get behind no matter how hard I try not to, Thursdays are ok but once advising is over in the morning I’m already exhausted, and Friday just drags with nothing but paperwork to do. Wednesday is fab.

5. The fiance, even if I am staying up right now writing this instead of laying in bed with him. I’m just not tired yet. Sorry.

6. The post-workout feeling. I ran (slash walked) 3 miles today, and I haven’t done that in awhile. It felt glorious. There is something about pushing yourself and really feeling your muscles working and your heart beating that just does a mind so much good. This brings me to…

7. Overweight people in gyms. This might sound mean or ridiculous, but I want to high five every overweight person I see in the gym because I feel like they have started fighting the good fight. Taking care of yourself and reclaiming your right to being healthy has to start somewhere, and I really applaud making the effort. 2 laps walked around the track will eventually turn into a mile, which will turn into jogging, which will turn into added years on to your lifespan if you keep at it. I think it’s inspiring and brave and amazing to see someone starting that process. So- high-five, slightly chubby man next to me on the treadmill. I got support in abundance if you need it, and keep up the good fight.

8. Craig Biggio. I love him. One of the trio who made me love baseball (Biggio, Bagwell and Caminiti, may he rest in (a drug-laden) peace), #7 is the only man I would leave the fiance for. And he (the fiance) knows it. I’ve loved the guy since I was 5. It’s hard to compete with that. I’m really heartbroken that I moved to Houston too late to watch him play on a regular basis, and that I only got to see him play live twice. B-G-O forever.

9. Blotters from university campus police forces. I still read the Daily Texan’s “Campus Watch” blotter for fun sometimes, because who doesn’t want to read about a wasted 19 year old who pulled over a cop car thinking it was a cab? Or, as it happened on UH campus, know that a cop told a student who found a bag of weed, “You know if no one claims this, it’s yours”? COMIC GOLD, you can’t make this stuff up.

10. Sleeping. It takes so much work for me to fall asleep, but I love the blissful half-asleep phase. It’s my favorite. It’s what I’m going to go do right now.

Wedding Lesson #2 April 10, 2009

I feel like I should share Lesson #1 before I really launch into this. Wedding Lesson #1: By the end of the wedding day, the goal is to be married. That’s the primary mission, and all this other stuff is just details.

That gem being said, Wedding Lesson #2 is DO NOT LET YOUR FAMILY GET OVERINVOLVED. I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week while a massive invitation debacle has gone down (oh, you still haven’t gotten your invite? Don’t worry, NO ONE has since they STILL are not done). I wanted to just buy some invitations from Target and have them printed with colored ink by a professional printer. Not hard stuff. Inexpensive. Simple. Convenient. Something I controlled. Love it. I was persuaded by a very beloved member of my family to let this woman she knows make them, because Beloved Member has helped her out a lot and this woman does this professionally and kind of owes my Beloved Member for all the help. And the samples were gorgeous, and it was going to be a deal in the way of $$$, so I put aside my misgivings of losing control and not having a written contract to please the family. BAD CALL.

It’s April 9. The wedding is May 30. It’s good to have invited guests receive invitations 6-8 weeks before an event. Let me do the math for you- I’m just shy of 7 weeks. And I won’t be getting the invites for another few days. People will receive at 6 weeks. This doesn’t thrill me, but it’s ok. Except.

The fiancee has an extreme amount of aunts and uncles, all of whom live in the Northeast (damn Yankees, indeed). Grand total- it’s about 50 people. Yeah. I’m aiming for a wedding of 150 guests. Bam, that’s a third. So my plan was to invite a few people as I got RSVP cards back; it’s all people I love but I had to hold back on inviting because we didn’t know how many of these 50 were showing. This is kind of all blown to hell now that I’m sending the invites at just about 6 weeks… wouldn’t you be suspicious if 4 weeks before a wedding, you got an invite? Precisely. Then again, I’d be a little suspicious at 6 weeks. I can’t do anything now. But damn, those Target invitations are looking amazing. The only person they might look better to is the Beloved Member. I feel horrible for her, truly.

Lesson:  Do not let your family get overinvolved. This would have saved me endless stress over the last 3 weeks, and kind of over the last few months. Come to think of it, the least stressful parts have been the parts I did on my own. Family. Love them to death. Not good for your wedding planning health.

Welcome to the Millenium. March 27, 2009

The fiancee had an amazing experience today while I was online shopping for a bikini (I know, not the best idea, but OH THE SALES!):

Me: Ew, not this pattern. I hate this. I think I want white. (Click on white color block to see white bikini)

Him: WHOA! WHOA!

Me: What? The color change?

Him: YES!

Me: You’ve clearly never online shopped before.

Him: Is that NORMAL? That’s AMAZING!

… welcome, young friend, to the magical credit card loving world of the great Al Gore-invented Internet.

March 24, 2009

Today was day 3 of craving sushi, and after an unsuccessful attempt to get it for dinner on Saturday (because as always, Randalls sucks on most every level) and for lunch today (because no one seems to understand that some people don’t want avocado in their sushi), the great salmon gods smiled on me, and I was able to procure not only some delicious salmon nigiri, but also miso soup. I will never cease to be amazed at just how satisfying it is to get the food you’re craving. Thank you, Kroger, for not sucking like Randalls. You’re no HEB, but you’ll do. Reason #453 why I can wait to get pregs- no sushi. The horror.

Last night was my first true rodeo night. I watched bull riding, which is surprisingly fun when no one gets gored in the head (yeah, I saw that happen when I was about 5- somehow the guy managed not to die, it was crazy.) I also watched mutton racing- is that what it’s called?- where kids ride sheep for as far as they can (and its amazing if they get more than 10 feet) and the calf scramble, which was actually cool. 100 kids around 14 years old and 40 calves- everyone who catches a calf gets to keep it and raise it for a future livestock show, and this year one of the winners of the cattle prize stuff was one of the calves from calf scramble a few years ago! Very cool, lots of beer, and good old ZZTop to round out the night. Thanks, Top! All in all, successful weekend!

I’m a Toys R Us kid March 18, 2009

I have never really wanted to grow up, but it’s pretty much upon me now. I’m in mid-twenties, I’m getting married, and not only are my friends getting married, but they’re having children. Children that are not accidents, that are happily received, that they look forward to. Toto, we’re not in undergrad any more.

Yesterday was St Patrick’s Day, and events of yesterday (such as planning ahead to get a taxi rather than park and deal with driving home later, opting to go to an establishment that had food so we could eat and not just get drunk and feel sickly, being embarassed when I fell over a guardrail- sadly, not because of drinking but because I have a lack of general coordination from time to time) really brought the growing up thing to the forefront. Other things that have done this lately:

• I can actually tell you the due date of all bills I pay.
• I have spent the majority of the last month’s weekend evenings in the house, rather than going out to bars.
• It’s spring break, and I’m at work this week. And even though I do have two days off tomorrow, I already have a list of errands to fill that time, and those errands do not involve driving to PCB.
• I’m genuinely happy when I receive gifts like place settings and knife blocks. (I cannot WAIT to actually get my hands on the new knife block- I’ve reached new levels of excitement for that one.)

I’m not unhappy with these developments, but some days, I do wish Geoffrey the Giraffe would swoop down, take me to his magical land of endless aisles of toys, and I’d enjoy it just as much as I did 20 years ago, without wondering in the back of my mind if I can get all the laundry done tonight.

March “this is not really angry until brackets start falling apart” Madness March 17, 2009

So I just made my Facebook bracket for March Madness (what up, Lil Wayne bracket), and I’m pretty enthused about the total lack of research I did this year. Aside from one slideshow on 12 teams to not include in your bracket (which is impossible, by the way, since all 64 have to be in there somehow, and you aren’t going to pick SFA over OU if they match up, duh), I went into it blind, and I think I came out with pretty OK results. It just occurred to me, though, that I’m in a league with a sportscaster. I think he should be disqualified. If I beat him, I will officially be a March Madness idiot savant.

See, things like this are the fun parts of sports. I do not like basketball. But I’m ok with the tourney, because I like watching underdogs. George Mason University is one of my favorite schools ever, just because of their awesome Cinderella story from 3 years ago (I’m guessing at that- give or take a year). And I like watching #1 seeds get trounced anytime, but it’s especially great during playoffs  (UConn, I’m talking to you). It’s fun watching these teams give it everything they have. This is one of those rare times when basketball is worth my time; however, I probably won’t watch a whole game, not going to lie.  Wouldn’t it be AMAZING if there was an NCAA football November Madness? It would just make my birth month even greater. Actually, I’m pretty down with tourney style-anything NCAA; NCAA is just more interesting and full of more heart and passion.  Professional sports bore me lately.  I have been a diehard baseball fan my whole life (I’ll still take Craig Biggio as my betrothed if he ever should want that), but Roger Clemens and his needle crew have made a major dent in that. NFL is just drama left and right (this is NOT meant as a slight to the NFL player who accidentally killed someone with his car not long ago or the NFL guys who are presumed dead at sea- just to be clear, those are unfortunate. I’m more talking about T.O.)  And basketball- no interest of any kind. Apparently jocks don’t change after high school- the baseball players are still smart enough to get away with a lot, the football players are still causing drama and throwing fits, and the basketball crew is still kind of awkward (sorry, Yao).  The more random sports (hockey, lacrosse, water polo)- those guys were always the ones you wanted to hang out with, so maybe I should start working towards developing a fanship in those areas (I’m already the #1 fan of the former #55 for UT club lacrosse!). People might disagree with my assessment of sports, but I’m not a sports anchor, so who cares. Then again, if I whip someone’s butt in the tourney, that job may just be in my future…

After 4 days home from work… March 12, 2009

Today marks Day 4 of what my friend Erin calls her avian flu, a weird cold/flu/lack of rest hybrid that has pretty much ruined my week. I tried to go to work yesterday, but after 12 pm, I was back on my couch watching another rerun of “What I Like About You”. (Fact 1 about me: I love crappy television, and I won’t apologize for it. Some people find their zen moments in yoga or poetry, I find mine through the “Real Housewives of Orange County”.) So the boredom of being home this last day, when I have slept too much to sleep anymore but still lack the energy to clean the kitchen, has led to this. And the boredom has also led me to think about a few things I really want to do that I haven’t done or have actually made regressions on:

1. Get a damn haircut already. I know I’m growing out my hair for the wedding (I’m getting married at the end of May, in case anyone besides my immediate friends reads this and needs that info), but it’s just getting shapeless and blah, very Anne Hathaway before the makeover in “The Devil Wears Prada”. I don’t like blah hair, especially on me. Hence, need a haircut. Perhaps Saturday.
2. I want to start Pilates or yoga. I did Pilates once or twice a week for almost a semester and I enjoyed it; I also did bikram yoga a couple of times, and I loved it. I need to figure out a way to get back on this that will not cost me $450 million a month. Must commit to working out if I’m going to be spending a week in a bikini in under 3 months time.
3. I need to figure out a creative outlet. This might be part of the blogging desire. I acted for a long time, and when I was younger I wrote “novels” (OK, they were like 150 page stories handwritten in notebooks, but they had plots, and that’s solid for a 13 year old.) And I sang for a long time, too. And I miss that. I miss having some sort of creative product of any kind coming out of me. I blame my desire to be creative on the lack of career ambition; maybe I’ll figure out a way to use it to my advantage, but I always thought I’d stumble into a glorious creative career and didn’t plan ahead. But I do genuinely like my job now. At least I never took the creativity to my wardrobe, because then I would be flat broke instead of typical mid-twenties poor.
4. Stop being sick. This is the most immediate short term goal. I shall start there.